Speedy Little Taxi. My dad used to call me the speedy little taxi. It was probably those words that contributed to my becoming a runner.
Preparing to move has jostled me into a quasi dying mindset. People, or atleast movies, talk about life flashing through their mind during a death defying experience. (Presumably it happens when you die for real but I haven't heard any dead affirm the suspicion) Moving out of a community is beginning to feel like that. Only it is more like a divorce than a death since it's to some extent by choice rather than fate. Nonetheless, my move away from South Lake Tahoe is in two weeks and the grieving process has begun. I feel like I'm gulping in the views of the mountains and lake, I'm driving Kingsbury with extra gusto, I'm sucking down coffee and meals from my favorite places without heed of cost or calories. But most impacting is my love hate relationship with my friendships. I want to embrace and push away all those that are close. I went through a list of people in my mind today that when summed up really flattened my enthusiasm for the day. I will miss my long time friend Brian...chess, disc golf, Halo and discussions ad nauseum. And from there the list goes on and on from men from church to business people in town. All those connections; seven years in the making and two weeks in the severing. I would almost like to review every friendship. On one hand it would be totally boring on the other it may be meaningful, if the Bible can have those long lists of names that no one can pronounce then maybe that gives me liberty here. So here it goes.
I will miss Pat for the bleeding edge pressing into difficult facets of life,
I will miss Dan for his unending grace and faith,
I will miss Robert for his thoughtful and caring insights,
I will miss Joe for his para mobster stories and school of hard knocks,
I will miss Leonard for his philosophy and ultra focused mono rail train of thoughts,
I will miss Rob for his unassuming service and humble pursuits,
I will miss Kenny as the educated veteran who futily avoids the leadership that he can't escape,
I will miss Dominique for his steadfastness and discipline,
I will miss Bryan for his availability earnestness and simplicity,
I will miss Brian for his passion for an ideology,
I will miss Corbet for his maliability to big picture theology and practices,
I will miss Noah for his comradre in carrying the pragmatic 'So What?' flag into ministry,
I have missed Corey for his alternative approach to the mainstream,
I will miss Paul for his child like enthusiasm,
I will miss Jerry and Susan for their simplicity and stalwartness,
I will miss Chris and Hillary for their family cohesiveness,
I will miss Doug as the figurative patriarch,
I will miss Diane as the nuclear (central and exothermic) pervair of thought and hospitality,
I will miss Taz as an encourager,
I will miss Renkin as a light of comedy,
I will miss Margaret as a fellow conservative and structure,
I will miss Dale and Sue as faithful servants,
I will miss Bob A, as a discipler and visionary, believing in the difficult to trust proverbial next generation,
I will miss Richard as the self sacrificing servant,
I will miss Leila as the touch of easy going southern bell in yankeeville,
I will miss Kristen as the realist,
I have missed Meg as the simple and joyful,
I will miss Michael for his smile and easy presence,
I will miss Joanna for her administration,
I will miss Seth for his counsel and comical life perspective,
I will miss Drew for his intentionalness,
I will miss Pete for his gravity and ping pong,
I will miss John for his realism,
I will miss Bruce for his quarkyness and shrouded childlikeness,
I will miss Bob D. for his theological and human debates,
I will miss Nancy for her enending unthusiasm for life,
I will miss Dick for his consistency,
I will miss Linda for her candor wrapped in silliness,
I will miss Don as a mystic embedded in a practical analytic,
I will miss Charlie for his resourcefullness and youth despite his age and experiences,
I will miss Russel for his fast growing early years of spiritual growth,
I will miss Micalah for her interest in our marriage,
I will miss Randy and Denise as the uninhibited and honest war horses,
I will miss Judah as my figurative Godson and friend of Owen,
I will miss Lilly as the unedited self,
I will miss Eleanor as the hope for an easy and fun kid,
I will miss the enduring presence of my faithful Asher,
I will miss the prodigy of Asher in Ender and EZ.
All in all I will miss the family God has put me within. I could not ask or imagine a more rounded and valuable family of people that care for Laura, Owen and I. As I wrap up my life in this Tahoe family I talked with Bryan about my legacy. I think my legacy is yet to come. My legacy and God ordained destiny is to take the gifts that all these people poured into me to another place. To spread the wealth of God's provision. I will integrate all these people's gifts into my life and plant them elsewhere. My legacy is really about other's legacy being carried by me to others, not the least of which, of course is Christ himself. People in Kalispell will benefit from how I've been impacted by everyone from Pat to Asher. C.S Lewis in his space trilogy talks about a race of people that see the moment as simply an entry point for a sustaining memory. That perhaps the memory is the more impactful between the two. So I hope I am faithful with the memories, for within whom much is invested much is expected.
___________________________________________________________________
Preparing to move has jostled me into a quasi dying mindset. People, or atleast movies, talk about life flashing through their mind during a death defying experience. (Presumably it happens when you die for real but I haven't heard any dead affirm the suspicion) Moving out of a community is beginning to feel like that. Only it is more like a divorce than a death since it's to some extent by choice rather than fate. Nonetheless, my move away from South Lake Tahoe is in two weeks and the grieving process has begun. I feel like I'm gulping in the views of the mountains and lake, I'm driving Kingsbury with extra gusto, I'm sucking down coffee and meals from my favorite places without heed of cost or calories. But most impacting is my love hate relationship with my friendships. I want to embrace and push away all those that are close. I went through a list of people in my mind today that when summed up really flattened my enthusiasm for the day. I will miss my long time friend Brian...chess, disc golf, Halo and discussions ad nauseum. And from there the list goes on and on from men from church to business people in town. All those connections; seven years in the making and two weeks in the severing. I would almost like to review every friendship. On one hand it would be totally boring on the other it may be meaningful, if the Bible can have those long lists of names that no one can pronounce then maybe that gives me liberty here. So here it goes.
I will miss Pat for the bleeding edge pressing into difficult facets of life,
I will miss Dan for his unending grace and faith,
I will miss Robert for his thoughtful and caring insights,
I will miss Joe for his para mobster stories and school of hard knocks,
I will miss Leonard for his philosophy and ultra focused mono rail train of thoughts,
I will miss Rob for his unassuming service and humble pursuits,
I will miss Kenny as the educated veteran who futily avoids the leadership that he can't escape,
I will miss Dominique for his steadfastness and discipline,
I will miss Bryan for his availability earnestness and simplicity,
I will miss Brian for his passion for an ideology,
I will miss Corbet for his maliability to big picture theology and practices,
I will miss Noah for his comradre in carrying the pragmatic 'So What?' flag into ministry,
I have missed Corey for his alternative approach to the mainstream,
I will miss Paul for his child like enthusiasm,
I will miss Jerry and Susan for their simplicity and stalwartness,
I will miss Chris and Hillary for their family cohesiveness,
I will miss Doug as the figurative patriarch,
I will miss Diane as the nuclear (central and exothermic) pervair of thought and hospitality,
I will miss Taz as an encourager,
I will miss Renkin as a light of comedy,
I will miss Margaret as a fellow conservative and structure,
I will miss Dale and Sue as faithful servants,
I will miss Bob A, as a discipler and visionary, believing in the difficult to trust proverbial next generation,
I will miss Richard as the self sacrificing servant,
I will miss Leila as the touch of easy going southern bell in yankeeville,
I will miss Kristen as the realist,
I have missed Meg as the simple and joyful,
I will miss Michael for his smile and easy presence,
I will miss Joanna for her administration,
I will miss Seth for his counsel and comical life perspective,
I will miss Drew for his intentionalness,
I will miss Pete for his gravity and ping pong,
I will miss John for his realism,
I will miss Bruce for his quarkyness and shrouded childlikeness,
I will miss Bob D. for his theological and human debates,
I will miss Nancy for her enending unthusiasm for life,
I will miss Dick for his consistency,
I will miss Linda for her candor wrapped in silliness,
I will miss Don as a mystic embedded in a practical analytic,
I will miss Charlie for his resourcefullness and youth despite his age and experiences,
I will miss Russel for his fast growing early years of spiritual growth,
I will miss Micalah for her interest in our marriage,
I will miss Randy and Denise as the uninhibited and honest war horses,
I will miss Judah as my figurative Godson and friend of Owen,
I will miss Lilly as the unedited self,
I will miss Eleanor as the hope for an easy and fun kid,
I will miss the enduring presence of my faithful Asher,
I will miss the prodigy of Asher in Ender and EZ.
All in all I will miss the family God has put me within. I could not ask or imagine a more rounded and valuable family of people that care for Laura, Owen and I. As I wrap up my life in this Tahoe family I talked with Bryan about my legacy. I think my legacy is yet to come. My legacy and God ordained destiny is to take the gifts that all these people poured into me to another place. To spread the wealth of God's provision. I will integrate all these people's gifts into my life and plant them elsewhere. My legacy is really about other's legacy being carried by me to others, not the least of which, of course is Christ himself. People in Kalispell will benefit from how I've been impacted by everyone from Pat to Asher. C.S Lewis in his space trilogy talks about a race of people that see the moment as simply an entry point for a sustaining memory. That perhaps the memory is the more impactful between the two. So I hope I am faithful with the memories, for within whom much is invested much is expected.
___________________________________________________________________
2 comments:
I have tears in my eyes as I write this. There is probably no other friend I've ever had that has made the impact on my life like you, Nick. I am constantly thinking of the little things that you did to make life more meaningful to be apart of. I'm both sad and excited for you as you depart on the next journey. Your future friends in Montana don't even realize the blessing that is about to grace their town. You have definitely left a legacy in the lives of people. At least for me it's reflected in the memories I will always have and the way I live community. May God BLESS YOU Nick.
I guess I could have just emailed you but I'm impulsive so I just commented.
Love you man.
corey
I read the following at Nick's going away party and wanted to place it on this site too. This is an email I originally sent to nick a month ago regarding his legacy in South Lake Tahoe. We were eating dinner and talking about what he would leave behind and these thoughts came to me later that night in the shower:
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I do all my best thinking late at night in the shower. I'm not sure if its the hot water or the comfort or distraction...something brings my brain to life. Tonight in the shower (reluctantly, as I know I have to get up early) my brain began to think about your legacy and as usual the most profound thoughts of the night were not at dinner but in the shower.
Often, when people think of a legacy they think of the shiny, superficial, fluffy stuff that people do... such as sports achievements, or celebrities in hollywood. This is what I was thinking about when you asked the question at mott. What programs did nick start? What new shiny ministries? Well, you have a few, the wed night group, guss, tue morning group. These programs are great, to be sure, but we all know that Nick is not about programs -- he is about the product of the programs.
But then in the hot shower my brain kicked into gear and I realized -- the REAL legacies are those often unthanked and unnoticed daily, yet highly important. Take for example the light bulb. or electricity. or the wheel. We don't think of these very often, yet they change our lives the most. The shiny hollywood movies and ministries get the attention but the light bulbs and electricity of their kind are the REAL legacies.
So in looking deeper at your legacy I find it dense with light bulbs and electricity...of a ministry sort. While you started a few shiny programs, that's not your real legacy. Your real legacy is much deeper and much more subtle, yet much more profound and impactful; similar to a light bulb in comparison with hollywood glitter.
Take, for example, the legacy of connecting men. I would have never known Dom, and him me. More than that, I would have never known HOW to know him. The skillset of building deep relationships goes deeper than Dom and I but is a toolbox for future friendships as well. You basically taught us how to look past our insecurities and isolation to rent yard equipment and share the duty of taking care of each other's yards. Without that influence I doubt Dom and I would have worked on the projects we did together such as building my shed. You brought men together. That is a legacy.
You brought generations together; Jerry and Susan with the kids. Sure, they may have joined the group had you not been there, but your probing questions brought them out of their shells and into engagement. You connected old christians with young. You did the same in guss. That's a legacy.
You brought my family and friends to a deeper level of self examination and reflection and accountability and communication -- into a richer zone of brotherhood and sisterhood in Christ. We relate to each other in deeper ways that bears better fruit. That's a legacy.
You left your mark on the leaders and "older generation" of the church and community -- Seth, Dan, Pat, Ranken, my parents.......and a dozen other names I can't remember or can't think of. That's a legacy.
You bridged the gap between dozens of different demographics of our generation and brought everyone together for ping pong, bar b q's, and get togethers, from hoffarth and steve smitt to Dom to Corbett and a dozen others I can't think of at 12:30. The important thing isn't that they came together but that being together was the prerequisite to life on life loving and sharing. So you opened the door for life on life loving and sharing. That's a legacy.
You were a connector while you were here, and I think you left a legacy the size of a Tsunami, but it will go largely unrecognized on a surface level because it is so fundamentally valuable that people take it for granted like they do their daily bread or a light bulb. Your legacy goes deeper than fancy sermons or shiny new ministries...it goes to the very heart of the people you were involved with, in such a way that the changes are fundamental and almost subconsious. So, there are my thoughts on your legacy...a legacy any man should be proud of and one that I personally would have given up all the equity in my house to be a part of. I mean that -- if I had to choose between $$$ or the influence you've had on my life, it would be a no brainer.
This email could use a proof read and a tune up but its too late and I'm too tired.
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